


Bouncing back

by himawri45 (kotaka_kun)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha!Bucky, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Omega!Steve, Omegaverse, Post Mpreg, postpartum!Steve has body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 10:30:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotaka_kun/pseuds/himawri45
Summary: “This one’s just so active, I can barely stand it.” she huffed. Steve gave her a look of sympathy, but before he could tell her he knew exactly how she felt, she spoke again, “So when are you due?”He knew she meant well. That it was just small talk, something they had in common. But it just made him want to sink into the floor. He curled in on himself just a little, in an unconscious and futile attempt to hide his swollen middle.“Ah, um,” He swallowed, trying not to get too overwhelmed by the burning humiliation in his chest, “Almost two months ago, actually.” he admitted, his voice small.





	Bouncing back

**Author's Note:**

> //Can you write something that involves Steve coming to terms and getting used to his postpartum body? He’s super self conscious that he still looks visibly pregnant, (perhaps a well-meaning stranger makes the “when are you due?”? comment when Steve’s our and about without the baby) and maybe didn’t anticipate what he’d look like nor that he’d have such a hard time with the change in his appearance, again.//
> 
> cross-posted on [this blog](http://ohmyomegasteveandalphabucky.tumblr.com)

 

Maybe he’d been a little presumptuous to think that his body would just bounce back after he gave birth. But in Steve’s defense, he _was_ a supersoldier. Surely the serum would speed up his recovery and help him get back his pre-pregnancy figure...? There were countless unenhanced Omegas getting back down to their petite size, after all.

So when Steve found himself still with a noticeable roundness around his middle a month and a half after bringing not-so-little Maya into the world (weighing in at a whopping 10lbs at birth), he was understandably upset and frustrated. He tried not to let it bother him too much, and hid it as best he could with baggy sweatshirts, avoiding the lengthy stretch marks that spanned the underside of his belly and hips when he was undressing.

The logical side of him said that he surely wasn’t the only Omega to look like this after having a pup, and such a large one at that. But the emotional, instinctive, vulnerable side of him hated it. He’d lost control of his body enough as it was, and even though he wasn’t pregnant anymore, he was still struggling with it. Maybe failure was a heavy word, but he certainly felt every bit of weight that came with it. He could never bring it up to Bucky who, bless his heart, had never brought up the topic of Steve’s seemingly permanently changed body, not even when Steve changed in front of him. The Omega could feel him looking, though. He told himself that Bucky had always looked at him, it was just what Bucky did, and it didn’t necessarily mean that Bucky was judging him -- because Bucky would never do that -- but that same vulnerable side of him made him shy away, and he began to find excuses to not take off his clothes in front of Bucky. He found himself pulling away from his mate in bed when his Alpha would turn to drape an arm over his waist, because what if he felt the persistent pudge he’d accumulated and no longer wanted him? During the day, Steve himself knew it was an absurd idea, but at night, when he could _feel_ Bucky pressing against him, he couldn’t help the whirlwind of upsetting thoughts. He couldn’t bear to imagine what it would feel like if he had to endure Bucky being the one pulling away from him.  
If Bucky took notice of Steve’s odd distance, he didn’t say anything, and Steve almost felt relieved, because it was just so much easier to pretend that everything was fine. Their day to day lifestyle didn’t change much, and half the time, Steve was far too busy with Maya to think about it in the day anyway. And Bucky did so much too, always making sure to give Steve much needed breaks throughout the day, and taking care of a lot of the household chores that needed to get done when Steve was busy.

So when Steve’s particularly stressful morning -- waking from Maya’s cries -- only got worse as Maya’s diaper leaked a mess all over her crib when she went down for her nap, Bucky told his mate to go out and get some air, get some errands done as he’d take over for the rest of the day. Steve was grateful. He’d honestly been on the verge of tears, because between the tension that he himself was building between himself and his mate, and the horrible morning he’d had, he’d certainly needed the break. He decided to go down to the local department store and pick out a new outfit or two to replace the soiled ones from earlier.

He stood in the baby section, looking over the seemingly endless choices of clothes, he himself dressed as inconspicuous as he could manage, because the last thing he needed was the media catching wind of formerly-Captain-America’s postpartum figure being so... unfortunate.

When he felt someone come up to stand beside him, he tensed trying not to be too obvious about it, but he quickly realized that the blonde Omega beside him had an obvious bump too, and she was rubbing it absentmindedly as she looked over the wide selection of outfits.

“I can never decide on what I want to get them.” she said warmly a little later, breaking the awkward silence, and Steve looked over, smiling sheepishly.

“There’s just... so much to choose from.” He bit back the ‘nowadays’ that he nearly let slip.

“Oh, believe me, I know. And with so many sites telling us so many different things...” the Omega sighed, shaking her head as she looked down at her belly. “I don’t know how I’m going to manage.”

“Definitely,” Steve agreed, “It’s great that we have so many resources, but it’s so hard to find _good_ resources.” They shared a knowing look, until the Omega shuddered a little, rubbing her middle with a wince. Steve certainly knew about how uncomfortable it could be to be so far along with such an active pup -- Maya had been awake at odd hours of the day in the last month or so, kicking him persistently as she got her exercise in. He grimaced just remembering it.  
“This one’s just so active, I can barely stand it.” she huffed. Steve gave her a look of sympathy, but before he could tell her he knew exactly how she felt, she spoke again, “So when are you due?”

He knew she meant well. That it was just small talk, something they had in common. But it just made him want to sink into the floor. He curled in on himself just a little, in an unconscious and futile attempt to hide his swollen middle.

“Ah, um,” He swallowed, trying not to get too overwhelmed by the burning humiliation in his chest, “Almost two months ago, actually.” he admitted, his voice small.

The woman’s brows shot up, eyes widening, and Steve wanted nothing more than to run in the opposite direction to avoid whatever embarrassment awaited the both of them, but instead of the look of pity he’d been expecting, the Omega was now looking at him with more understanding than apology.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” she said, continuing before he could cut her off, tell her she had nothing to apologize for, tell her that it wasn’t her fault his body was fucked up, “It’s not easy to adjust to the changes your body goes through, during _and_ after pregnancy” Wait, what? “Listen, this is my second,” she said, drumming her fingers on her belly, “I know what you’re going through, believe me. I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.”  
It was all Steve could do to gape at her in utter bewilderment. He really didn’t know what to make of the situation. He was still humiliated that he looked like this nearly two months after giving birth, but this Omega saying that she knew what it was like was almost comforting to him.

“It’s...hard.” he said after a moment, surprising even himself. He had no business telling this stranger about his woes, but maybe it was because he’d kept it bottled up for so long -- he just began to talk in the middle of the aisle. “They make it look so easy, y’know? Omega’s bouncing back, looking just like they did before they had a pup. Thought it would be the same. But I’m stuck looking... like this,” he looked down at his feet, “And it just..” He sighed frustratedly. “I hate it. I just want to look like I did before, but I _can’t_ and it’s already made me distant from my mate, and I don’t know if he knows, but I don’t want him to worry but I hate... I hate hating my body.” He took a breath, his eyes falling shut. “Maybe hating is a bit strong, but I’ve just. It’s been so long since I haven’t had control over what I’ve looked like, and it’s hard to... I don’t know. Accept it, I guess. I feel like a half deflated beach ball, and there’s so many stretch marks, I don’t want anyone to see. Hell, _I_ don’t even want to see it. I struggled with stuff, y’know, self image and all that, when I was younger, and for a while, I managed to be someone that I could see as... attractive, I guess. But now I just. I don’t know.” he tapered off, feeling drained by the end of his rant. As soon as he was done though, heat seeped back into his cheeks, embarrassed by just how much he’d admitted to this complete stranger.

“It sounds like you’re going through what a lot of us go through our first time around.” the Omega said gently, seeming unfazed by his confession that, by all means, sounded terribly whiny. “I know how you feel, and honestly, no one should have to feel that way. Like we’re somehow less because of how our bodies look. So let me tell you this, Steve: your body is proof of the life you bore, and it doesn’t define who you are. It doesn’t define you as a person, as a mother, as an Omega, as a mate, as anything. You are you, regardless of your body. Your worth is determined by who you are,” She pointed to his head, “In here,” and then to his heart, “And in here.” She smiled. “And don’t forget that you’re not alone. It’s so, _so_ easy to forget that it’s not our outer appearance that counts because of everything society’s taught us, that we Omega’s are more than what our bodies are capable of. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

Steve hadn’t realized he was crying until he blinked, and felt the hot wetness roll down his cheek. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and he tried to bite back his shaky breaths, but he couldn’t stop his tears.

It was one thing to think it, to know it, to believe it when it wasn’t about him, but to be reminded of it at a time like this felt like reassurance and a moment of peace on a stormy sea, the sunlight beginning to peek through dark clouds. Maybe it was silly to compare something so trivial to natural disaster, but for Steve right now, it was overwhelmingly relieving.

“Talking to your alpha might help,” she said gently putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze, “He’ll probably tell you the exact same thing.”

It took several embarrassingly long moments to regain some semblance of composure, but when he managed it, he gave her a watery smile, small and tired, but genuine.

“Sorry about all of this,” Steve apologized, wiping his eyes hurriedly, “I shouldn’t have-”

“Hey, no, it’s okay, really.” she said, “I should be thanking you. Knowing that even someone like you can get self conscious is kinda... reassuring? To know that even superheroes are really only human.” She laughed awkwardly.

“What?” he asked, only half aware of what she was saying.

“You’re Steve, right? Steve Rogers?”

Steve froze, dread setting in, cold in his gut. She knew. She _knew_. But before he could have a full blown panic attack, she went on.

“You saved my life, during the battle of New York.” she said. “I had just found out I was pregnant with my first, and I was convinced I was gonna die, pup and all, by the hand of those aliens, and you just... swooped in. Saved us. I ended up naming my son after you.” She faltered, her cheeks tinting pink this time. “His middle name is Steven.” Her voice was softer this time, almost embarrassed.

Steve blinked, his own face flaring up with heat, but he found himself beaming at her nonetheless. This woman, just some passerby that he’d opened up to and who had offered him comfort and advice and reassurance... had named her son after him. She’d known who he was, and hadn’t made a big deal of any of it.

“I’m honored. I really am.” he said earnestly, and she laughed shyly.

“Sorry, I just. Had to get that out. And I wanted to thank you. I never got to, at the time.” She smiled up at him. “So thank you. For saving me and my son.”

“Thank _you_ ,” Steve said in return, “For your words of wisdom, and your kindness.”

By the time Steve got home, he’d had time to process it all, and had ultimately decided to talk to Bucky about it. Though the Omega in the store -- her name had been Beth, he’d learned as he was saying goodbye -- didn't make all of his insecurities disappear, she’d given him the courage to admit aloud his feelings, discomfort and all.

Later, when he brought it up with Bucky, Bucky would indeed tell him the same things that Beth had. He’d tell Steve that he’d loved him when he was small, when he turned big, when he’d grown as Maya did inside him, and now with this body that Steve might think imperfect and flawed. Bucky would remind Steve of Erskine’s words, and would finally lay Steve’s fears to rest, taking him to bed and wax poetic in telling Steve just how much he loved him. Steve would no longer shy away from Bucky’s touches, no longer avoid looking at himself, because it was true -- he had nothing to be ashamed of.

And when he brought up the idea of becoming an advocate for expecting Omegas and new mothers, Bucky had given him a bright smile, and kissed him sweetly, telling him just how brilliant an idea it was.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to EowynOakheart for telling me the girl's name lmao \\(6w6)/
> 
> come keep me company on [tumblr](http://kotaka-kun.tumblr.com)!!


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